


Transparency

by gregknowshisshit



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Caring Steve McGarrett, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gen, MTF Danny Williams, Protective Steve McGarrett, Supportive Steve McGarrett, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Worried Danny Williams, loving relationship, trans!Danny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-07 17:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gregknowshisshit/pseuds/gregknowshisshit
Summary: "I want- I want pretty dresses and- um- and nice makeup and pretty things."Danny shares a huge secret with Steve after a few drinks. Steve decides to make it his mission to help the love of his life, no matter what.





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AverageFan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageFan/gifts).



"Come on then, Danno. Let's get you up to bed." Steve laughed as he all but dragged his boyfriend up the stairs and to their bedroom after Max's leaving party, the blonde having drank a few more than the rest of them and turning into jelly in Steve's arms on their way home.

Steve managed to get Danny up the stairs and into bed, carefully stripping him down to his boxers before pulling a t-shirt over his head and laying him down.

"There you go, babe." Steve smiled, crouching down and running a gentle hand through Danny's hair, planting a kiss to the blonde's head as he smiled up at Steve goofily.

"Are you feeling sick or anything? Is there anything else I can do?"

"Steeeeve?" Danny whined, pouting slightly and reaching out to Steve with one of his hands, smiling again as Steve took it in his own and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.

"I'm right here. What do you need?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" Danny whispered, Steve grinning fondly at his childish manner and the way he used his grip on Steve's hand to pull the man closer.

"Sure you can, babe. You can tell me anything, that's what boyfriends are for, silly."

"I'm not a boy. Not- Not really." Danny started in a whisper, Steve frowning a little in confusion and running a hand through Danny's hair again.

"What do you mean, babe?"

"I'm- I don't want to be a boy. I'm a girl really. In here." Danny continued, pulling Steve's hand and laying it over his heart, blinking up at the taller man with slightly teary eyes.

"I want- I want pretty dresses and- um- and nice makeup and pretty things."

Steve simply stared at Danny in a shocked silence for a few moments, still gently running his thumb over the back of the blonde's hand and leaning down to press another kiss to his hairline, before speaking again.

"Okay, babe. I don't think you'd be very happy with me if I let you tell me all this when you're drunk, so you get some sleep now, and we'll talk about this in the morning. Yeah babe?" Steve offered gently, smiling as Danny simply blinked sleepily and nodded a little.

"Thank you for trusting me. Sleep well, and you just let me know if there's anything at all that you need. I love you."

"Love you, Steve." Danny slurred, already half asleep, Steve kissing the back of his hand gently before releasing it and tucking it under the comforter with the rest of Danny's body.

Steve then snuck back out of the room, switching off the light and closing the door on the way, before grabbing his laptop and settling himself on the sofa with a mug of coffee. 

He sat up for most of the night, finding everything he could on male to female transitions, as well as finding a list of trans-friendly doctors and support centres for Danny, wanting to make sure that he would be prepared for whatever Danny needed after they had spoken more about the subject.

He finally crawled into bed beside Danny at around 4am, smiling and wrapping his arms tightly around the blonde as Danny cuddled into his chest, still fast asleep and snoring lightly.

Steve kissed Danny's head gently once more before he settled down to sleep, feeling the soft puffs of Danny's breathing on his neck, and the way that the blonde's hands curled into Steve's shirt even as he slept, and already being certain that no matter what the morning brought, he'd always want to spend his life with Danny Williams.


	2. She

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just,,,, How did I want people to react when I started coming out. A lot of this story is just pieced together of personal moments and goals and all that jazz. It has a special place in my heart, so I really hope you all enjoy it x ~lets have some trans! rep in canon 5-0 cast now, please ;)~

Steve blinked awake as Danny's soft hair tickled the bottom of his nose, smiling and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's head in order to rouse him.

Danny groaned and squinted up at Steve in response, tilting his head upwards for a kiss and smiling sleepily as Steve complied, planting a series of small kisses to his waiting lips.

"Good morning, beautiful." Steve smiled down at Danny, a blush rising in the blonde's cheeks as he gave Steve a small, playful shove and a shake of the head in response.

"You are beautiful, I promise. I'm gonna go and get us some coffee, babe, and then there's something I want to talk to you about. Okay?" Steve told Danny as he stood from the bed with a yawn, gaining a slight, worried frown in response.

"It's nothing to worry about, I promise. It is important though, babe. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be right back, don't worry." He clarified, leaning down and giving Danny another quick kiss before heading out of the room and downstairs.

True to his word, Steve returned only a couple of minutes later, a mug of coffee in each hand as he sat down on the bed once again, sitting opposite Danny and giving a soft smile as he passed over one of the mugs.

"So what- Uh- What did you want to talk about?" Danny asked quietly after a few moments of silence, swallowing thickly through nerves.

"Last night, after you'd had a few drinks, you told me some things, babe. Some pretty big things actually, about you, and how uncomfortable you've been feeling, and your gender." Steve started, speaking slowly and laying a gentle hand on Danny's knee as his face paled a few shades and his breath hitched slightly.

"It's okay, I'm not mad. I just need you to tell me a little more, if you can. Just so that I can try to help make you as comfortable as possible, babe. Only tell me as much or as little as you want to, I don't want to rush you or make you feel pressured."

"How much did I- Wh-What did I say?"

"Just that you'd feel more comfortable identifying as a woman. I stopped you after that, didn't want you telling me anything you might have regretted because your guard was down." Steve informed Danny, sighing in sympathy as in response, the blonde choked out a sob and tried to turn away from Steve a little.

"It's alright. It's okay, babe, it isn't a problem." Steve whispered soothingly, shuffling forwards and wrapping Danny slowly in his arms.

"Th-That's just it though. It's a huge fu-fucking problem. I don't- I-I have no idea what the fuck I am, a-and I never have." 

"You don't have to have it all figured out. It's okay to not know exactly who you are, but you can't keep hiding all of these feelings away."

"Wh-What the fuck else am I supposed to do, Steven?! When I thought I was trans as a kid I was 'too young to know', then when I was a teenager 'it was just a phase', and now that I'm older it's 'well if you really did feel like this, you would have told someone earlier'. Th-There's no fucking way out of it. P-People just never listen because they'd rather throw an excuse at you than accept that you even exist." Danny yelled, forcing himself out of Steve's arms and standing up from the bed instead.

"It's not going to be like that anymore, babe. Okay? I'm here, and I'm listening, and I'm going to do whatever I can to help you feel more comfortable. I wouldn't judge you, Danno, you know that."

Danny seemed to stall then, taking a few deep breaths before throwing himself into Steve's arms again with a sigh, breathing heavily against the taller man's shoulder and clutching him tightly.

"I love you, Steve. I know I can trust you not to be a dick about it but- There's a lot of people out there, and through my whole life I've- T-There's never been one that I've told who didn't tell me I was wrong or treat me like a freak."

"You don't have to tell the whole world at once. It's just me." Steve tried to push, Danny sighing again and looking into his eyes.

"I just- I don't know how, Steve."

"What do you mean?"

"I've spent 38 years of my life as- A-As this. This person - this man - that I don't even fucking know, Steve. You got any idea what it's like to wake up every single damn day and not even know who you're looking at in the mirror anymore?" Danny asked sadly, a fresh layer of tears shining in his eyes, while Steve could only shake his head no in response.

"You don't- Y-You know who you're looking at isn't you, but you're hating looking into it anyway, because there's just this tiny voice telling you you'll always be wrong, and all you see is how- H-How fucking disgusting you are. That won't just go away because I got it off my chest or whatever."

Steve nodded slightly in response, staying silent for a few moments before deciding to speak again, running a gentle hand through Danny's hair the whole time.

"How about we start small? You just let me know what pronouns you want to use, and I'll make sure that I use them, babe. Only when nobody else is here, I promise. And only if you're comfortable."

"You don't want to do this, Steve." Danny sighed a little, his eyes downcast until Steve tilted his head to be looking at him once again.

"Babe, listen to me. The only thing I want is for you to feel comfortable and happy. If changing your pronouns, or anything else for that matter, will do that, then I'm happy to help." Steve promised, getting a small, dubious look from Danny before he finally let out an almost relieved sob and pressed himself into his boyfriend's shoulder once again.

"It's alright. You're safe, babe, it's okay. I love you."

"I-I think- C-Could you call me 'she'? J-Just in private?" Danny managed to stutter out in a whisper after a few moments of silence, Steve only holding Danny tightly and rocking them both from side to side a little.

"Of course. Of course I can, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you, babe. It's okay. You're okay, I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Danno. My beautiful girlfriend." Steve whispered in Danny's ear, trailing a string of kisses towards the blonde's mouth and running a gentle hand through her hair.

And hearing the word fall so easily from Steve's lips, Danny drew in a slow, hitched breath of surprise, letting the man nuzzle into her neck and leave scattered kisses there, as she was sure that so long as she could hear that every day, maybe she didn't regret opening up to Steve so much after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Danny's pronouns will be she/her from now on!// Please comment your thoughts, and leave kudos if you want to x


	3. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incase ya can't tell, I've been feeling dysphoria like heCK this week! and I just wanted a Steve or a Danny to cuddle me and tell me everything's okay so,,, I wrote one! x 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys it, and please always comment and let me know if there's anything in particular you're confused about, or want to see, or think I could improve on x

It had been three weeks since their initial conversation, Danny still blushing and smiling up at Steve every time he called her his girlfriend or told her that she was beautiful, when Steve came home and heard soft sobs coming from their bedroom upstairs.

"Danny?" He called as he reached their bedroom, and realised that the crying was coming from their bathroom.

Not receiving an answer, Steve stepped closer to the room, stopping in the doorway as he found Danny curled up on the lid of the toilet, clad only in a pair of boxers, and crying into her arms.

On the other side of the bathroom, Steve noticed that their mirror was smashed, and there was a small pile of discarded clothing just beside it.

Steve slowly approached Danny, crouching down beside her and laying a gentle hand on her back, not missing the slight flinch as he did so. 

"What's happened, sweetheart?" Steve asked quietly, pressing a kiss to Danny's cheek as she only shook her head in response, unable to speak through tears.

"Okay, it's alright. You're a little bit cold though, babe. Will you let me help you get into something warm?" Steve asked again, running his hand up and down the length of Danny's back and whispering a small thank you as she managed to nod a little.

Deciding to get her out of the damaged bathroom, Steve carefully slipped an arm under her legs and the other behind her back, lifting her easily in his arms and carrying her to their bed.

Steve went to his wardrobe, pulling out his biggest jumper, which he knew went down to at least Danny's knees, and a pair of bed socks that Danny had practically forced him into when he'd returned from a case one day and had promptly passed out due to hypothermia.

Steve quickly slipped the items onto Danny, frowning in concern as he noted the scratched and bruised skin on her hand, and only seeming content once the shivering of the blonde's body had calmed down and she curled herself into Steve's arms with another broken sob.

"It's alright. I'm here now, just take a few nice deep breaths for me if you can, babe." Steve tried to soothe, sitting on the bed with Danny and holding her tightly, kissing her head as he felt her taking some deep, shaky breaths, her whole body trembling as she did so.

"That's it, you're doing great sweetheart. What's upset my beautiful girl so much, huh?"

"St-Stop." Was all that Steve got in response to his soothings, causing him to frown and tilt his head down a lights so that he was looking into Danny's face.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"I-I'm not- N-Not your- I-I'm just wrong. D-Disgusting- Ug-Ugly- I d-don't- C-Can't-" Danny gasped out brokenly, her sobs getting louder between each broken word until eventually she was unable to speak once again, burying her face into Steve's shirt instead while he tightened his arms around her.

"Hey, hey, ssh sweetheart. Don't say those things. That isn't true, you're not wrong or disgusting or ugly. You're beautiful babe, I promise you are. Absolutely perfect." Steve tried to soothe her again, reverting back to rocking her gently and kissing her head once again as she only continued to cry.

"No. D-Dress. W-Wrong."

"I don't understand, babe. I don't know what you mean."

"Bo-Bought one. I-It was all- N-Not right. U-Ugly." Danny managed to continue, Steve sighing sadly as he finally seemed to grasp what had happened while more tears escaped Danny's eyes.

"You bought a dress, sweetheart?" Steve checked, running a soothing hand through Danny's hair as he was met with a small nod.

"We can try other dresses, babe. Not every one is going to fit you perfectly, it doesn't mean that they're all wrong. I'm so proud of you for trying, sweetheart. It was so brave, and I bet you looked stunning just like you always do."

"U-Ugly."

"Babe, listen to me. You're not ugly, and you're not wrong, or disgusting, or any of those things. Okay? You're beautiful, and I love you, and we're going to find you the most perfect dress, I promise." Steve replied, kissing Danny's head once again for good measure before leaning over and grabbing a small box from inside his bedside drawer.

He opened it to reveal a necklace, the thin silver chain supporting a charm with a love heart and a tiny letter 'S' engraved into it.

"I was going to save it for your birthday. I think you might need it more now though. Can I put it on you, babe?" Steve asked softly, smiling as Danny sniffled and wiped at her eyes a little, nodding slightly with a hiccuping breath.

Steve kissed the back of her head gently as he carefully pulled the necklace around her neck and fastened it at the back, unable to hold back a smile at how Danny's tears slowed and she rubbed her thumb over the charm, looking up at Steve with tearful eyes.

"Th-Thank you. It's- I-It's pretty." She spoke softly, leaning into Steve's chest once again and letting him run a hand through her hair as he held her.

"Just like you." Steve whispered back as Danny finally smiled a little as she drifted off to sleep against Steve, still lightly caressing the charm between her fingers.

It wasn't perfect, and Steve knew that there'd be more days like this one, where a necklace wouldn't fix everything and he'd just have to reassure Danny that he loved her, and that wouldn't change.

But for now, with Danny's soft breath's tickling his neck, and her slight frown slipping away to a peaceful look as she drifted away to sleep, Steve simply kissed her head and held her close.

It wasn't perfect, but it was enough.


End file.
